Two Eyes or a Bestseller

My right eye has been bothering me recently. I think I’m seeing flashes of light at the edges of my peripheral vision and it’s making me nervous, after two years ago an ophthalmologist warned me to watch for the flashes as they could be an early signal of impending doom, also called retinal detachment. No, this is not fiction, sorry. Continue reading Two Eyes or a Bestseller

Customer Complaint Re Zombie Apocalypse

To whom it may concern

Dear [Insert-name-here],

I have been patient beyond measure but the time has come to vent my disappointment in how things are run on this planet with regard to humankind. Earlier this year — although the latest reports point to late 2019 — a novel coronavirus spread through the human population (and some other animals), no doubt with the purpose of containing the spread of said population. This purpose was certainly noble. The execution of the plan, however, is falling well short of expectations. Continue reading Customer Complaint Re Zombie Apocalypse

When Brain Means Enemy

I was taking Little C. to school the other day when we ran into one of her first-grade teachers, about 200 meters from the school gates. She offered to take C. the rest of the way so I could go home. Naturally, I agreed. C. said “Goodbye Mrs… I mean mum” and off they went. So did I, in the opposite direction, thinking how wonderfully perfect Mrs. K. was. It lasted for about a second and a half. Continue reading When Brain Means Enemy

How To Make Your Life Difficult in 5 Easy Steps

Hello and welcome to today’s session in Life Advice, at which we will quickly explore the five steps you need to take to make your life that little bit more difficult to give it some extra spice because we live in a problem-free world and anyone can use some extra spice, right? Right! Each and every one of these steps is supereasy, so making your life difficult is not just simple — it’s fun! Continue reading How To Make Your Life Difficult in 5 Easy Steps

Sit-Down Comedy: The Silent Killer

A virus or a bacteria is probably the first thought one has when confronted with the “silent killer” cliche. Or poison, possibly. But I’m not talking about any of these. I mean, who knows if bacteria or other microorganisms can’t produce noise? The result of their work often does and I’m thinking yeast here, not what you think I think. Anyway, The Silent Killer that haunted my childhood and for reasons of an unfortunate choice in life partner still haunts me now is not a microorganism. Or a poison. It is invisible. Scared yet? Continue reading Sit-Down Comedy: The Silent Killer

This Summer’s Top Pet Peeves

What better time to make a roundup of the words and phrases that have made my life a little bit more interesting so far this year than mid-July when nothing happens. Normally. Some of those are all-time favourites and others are new crushes but I love them all. Continue reading This Summer’s Top Pet Peeves

How To Write the Perfect Book Query…

… with two people in the house, both of them with a tendency to vocalise their every thought. Because life is so much more fun this way. Continue reading How To Write the Perfect Book Query…

The Non-Toxic Life

No, I won’t talk about the oh, so popular toxic masculinity or even toxic femininity, which I could talk about a lot, since I’ve had more experience with it. I would like to say upfront that toxic has become one of the most abused words in the vocabulary of many. You don’t like something = it’s toxic and bad for everyone. Well, for me that’s people. Continue reading The Non-Toxic Life

Sit-Down Comedy: Waterworld

Imagine going home. You haven’t been home for a while and you can’t wait to get there, your poor heart bursting with the anticipation of home. No place like it and things like that. What do you imagine is the nastiest joke the universe could play on you in your vulnerable state? Continue reading Sit-Down Comedy: Waterworld

The Great Romantic Binge

A have an embarrassing confession to make. I haven’t read a single Jane Austen novel. Ever. I have no logical explanation. It’s not that I don’t read romance. I do read romance, a lot of it. And it is certainly not that I have anything against 19th century English literature. I don’t. I love Dickens and Hardy. And I’ve read Jane Eyre three times, so it’s not anything against women writers of 19th century England, either. It’s a mystery and it shall remain a mystery but t least I am now familiar with the material after I binged watched every adaptation of an Austen novel I could find. Continue reading The Great Romantic Binge